Well, not exactly, but on a more peaceful note than my last post, I am heading off on another Callanish retreat near Whistler this afternoon. It was a very last minute opportunity, but, of course, I leapt at the chance.
As I have said before, these retreats are no easy feat. It is hardly a week at the spa. However, I consider it a gift and a privilege to be able to have the time and space to reflect on and find meaning in a life that currently includes illness with others who are willing to do the same.
OK, there will be massage, healing touch, art, writing, music and many chocolate chip cookies, but, this is grueling work...That said, I will have no need for camo and combat boots this week (and, really, I'm usually not one for the "battle" language often used in Cancerland, though, sometimes it feels damn good). A cute pair of pj's and some comfy slippers is all I'll need.
On the treatment front, the latest news is that the SGN-35 trial may open in Vancouver at approximately the same time it does in Seattle which would certainly make things easier. My counts have been very low the past few weeks and my hemoglobin was at transfusing level, but I opted not to (I am stubborn about this...I don't like giving my RBCs a free ride in case they get used to the idea, though a little of the "house merlot" would undoubtedly make me feel better).
Yet, alas, none-to-soon, my counts are back on the rise this week, so we decided to try a couple of doses of Dexamethasone (hence the late post...it makes me a little wired), as it is not suppressive, so they could have just a little longer to recover. Then we will reassess and see if we have time to do one more dose of chemo next week.
As I have mentioned, I have to have a "wash-out" period of 4 weeks between the Lomustine (which suppresses blood counts for 6-8 weeks) and the start of the trial, so this waiting is tricky business as we still do not have a definitive trial start date. On the one hand, I am pretty itchy and have had a few night sweats. On the other hand, my alkaline phosphatase and LDH levels have remained low which can be indicative of a slow down in disease activity.
All things considered, I think I'll go with "the other hand." It's better looking anyway.