tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-320966112024-03-14T05:48:01.318-07:00cancersmancerChronicle of a Stem Cell Transplant
(and on through to the other side)Kirsten (not Kristen)http://www.blogger.com/profile/18189966461050575036noreply@blogger.comBlogger187125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32096611.post-37770284977433566862014-01-13T20:37:00.000-08:002014-01-13T20:37:00.021-08:00<br />
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<span class="Normal__Char" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt; font-style: italic; text-decoration: none;">Kirsten has been a </span><span class="Normal__Char" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt; font-style: italic;">strong and continuing presence in our lives and, as her mother, I feel compelled to add something to the abrupt ending of her blog. I feel fairly sure that she would not mind….</span></div>
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<span class="Normal__Char" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt; font-style: italic;">I have also asked Ian if he would include here the latest entry posted on his own blog <span class="Normal__Char" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt; font-weight: bold;"><a href="http://the-day-was.blogspot.ca/" target="_blank">The Day Was.</a></span></span></div>
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<span class="Normal__Char" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">Writing about or speaking of Kirsten in the past tense is difficult. It is close to impossible for me to believe that my daughter is no longer here on earth somewhere. Intellectually, I accept what has happened, but my heart feels differently. Sometimes, I indulge myself by imagining that the past three years have been a long and terrible dream, and that I'll wake up and everything will be right again and she will be with us.</span></div>
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<span class="Normal__Char" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">Kirsten was born on Christmas Eve in 1973. I hadn't had much experience with babies and, even though she weighed close to eight pounds, she seemed alarmingly tiny to me. I would wake up a dozen times a night to make sure she was still safe in her little bassinette in the corner of the bedroom.</span></div>
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<span class="Normal__Char" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">Kirsten was an exceptionally pleasant and placid baby, which was a very good thing because I was not a relaxed mother. I needed to consult my baby-care books at every turn of events and had to call in a friend to assist with her first bath.</span></div>
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<span class="Normal__Char" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">Toddlerhood was a shock to me. Kirsten was extremely aware of what she wanted out of life by the time she was two, and I have a photo of her stamping her foot, with her ponytail swinging, which makes me smile because I remember how intimidated I was by the absolute determination of one so small.</span></div>
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<span class="Normal__Char" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">Kirsten was, initially, an enthusiastic elementary school student, but her interest had turned to boredom by the time she reached high school. She didn't know which direction to take when she graduated, but, through a somewhat complex series of events, she ended up at Montroyal College in Calgary, and that remarkable place turned her academic life around. Six years, two universities, and two journalism degrees later, she was the recipient of a CBC internship scholarship and, for a while, she was on top of the world. She had met Ian, the man she was going to marry, and she knew what she wanted to do with her life. We finally relaxed, thinking her future would hold everything we wanted for her.</span></div>
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<span class="Normal__Char" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">Just one year after her marriage, Kirsten was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma, a form of cancer that, for 85% of those diagnosed, can be completely cured. It became evident within the first year that Kirsten was not going to be so fortunate. For the next 5 years, through a stem-cell transplant, numerous clinical trials, trips for trials and consultations to Montreal, Houston, and Seattle, she persevered and lived her life in a way that I (and everyone else) would never have thought possible, considering the situation. Sometimes she felt well, but more often she was experiencing the side effects of chemotherapy, radiation, and trial drugs. Through it all, her remarkable sense of humour remained intact and she kept us all positive and hopeful. It was impossible to believe that she wouldn't survive.</span></div>
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<span class="Normal__Char" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">During a period when she was feeling energetic despite the ongoing treatments, Kirsten travelled to Connecticut and participated in a workshop on transformational writing. When she returned, she hoped to find a way to share this way to use writing for emotional and physical healing. Coincidentally, she attended a meeting, sponsored by the Callanish Society, for young adults experiencing cancer. (Callanish is comprised of a group of dedicated people who facilitate week-long retreats for people experiencing cancer. They also provide support for the families and sponsor inspiring, life-affirming activities that can make an incalculable difference under these difficult circumstances.)</span></div>
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<span class="Normal__Char" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">That first meeting Kirsten attended was the beginning of a relationship with the people of Callanish that profoundly contributed to the strength she was able to bring to her experience with lymphoma. Kirsten and the society's director, Janie Brown, co-facilitated writing groups that provided inspiration to many who were learning how to live with cancer. The writing program continues, and we are comforted and proud that Kirsten was able to leave this legacy.</span></div>
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<span class="Normal__Char" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">Kirsten was so willing, and so eminently able, to make a positive difference in the world and there are no explanations, beliefs, philosophies, or platitudes that can adequately explain or excuse why this had to happen. All that we can do is appreciate the thirty-seven years that we did share with her. The essence of her beautiful mind and her compassionate heart will always be with us.</span> </div>
Kirsten (not Kristen)http://www.blogger.com/profile/18189966461050575036noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32096611.post-46546834440907066392011-02-12T13:21:00.000-08:002012-11-21T22:23:23.389-08:00A gathering of Kirsten's family and friends<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
We invite you to be with us on Sunday morning at 10:00, February 20. As Kirsten requested, we will gather in Cates Park in North Vancouver to be together and with her. Kirsten would like people to wear their favorite colours, bring a flower with them and, if you like, a memory, story, or poem to share. Children and dogs are welcome. Please email ipowell@nvsd44.bc.ca with any questions. Thank you.</div>
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Kirsten (not Kristen)http://www.blogger.com/profile/18189966461050575036noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32096611.post-26566031989184703882011-02-08T16:15:00.000-08:002011-02-08T16:15:07.008-08:00<div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisVIcjhBZKHhnNcM-iljhMMonbqLT3A4oRb9l3WdL6kTxjQQiE-bR8boqBLLlXxgg-Km-nGOHLi58soYibjtRc1vObbX76WUc92nYt4AaWbrTfQFjrgS3tHvHAVkWZrHCV4ofuNg/s1600/DSC_0053.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisVIcjhBZKHhnNcM-iljhMMonbqLT3A4oRb9l3WdL6kTxjQQiE-bR8boqBLLlXxgg-Km-nGOHLi58soYibjtRc1vObbX76WUc92nYt4AaWbrTfQFjrgS3tHvHAVkWZrHCV4ofuNg/s320/DSC_0053.jpg" width="214" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #333399; font-family: Tahoma; font-size: small;"><b>Kirsten was with us from December 24, 1973 until February 7, 2011. </b></span></div><br />
<div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333399; font-family: Tahoma;"><b>She will be the light of our lives forever.</b></span></div><br />
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</div>Kirsten (not Kristen)http://www.blogger.com/profile/18189966461050575036noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32096611.post-57270413290214224012011-02-05T15:13:00.000-08:002011-02-05T15:13:30.120-08:00Kirsten is not doing wellKirsten has asked us to send this message if she was not well enough to do so. She would like those who can to light a candle for her. She takes comfort in the thought of this.<br />
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Thank you from Kirsten and her familyKirsten (not Kristen)http://www.blogger.com/profile/18189966461050575036noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32096611.post-80319383636061321482011-01-04T04:54:00.000-08:002011-01-04T04:59:37.460-08:00End of 2010Hello everyone.<br />
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First let me apologize for being MIA for so long and causing many of you to worry. I am OK, but December was a hellish month.<br />
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The problem we are facing now is that the Revlemid seems to be holding the Hodgkins at bay, but it is driving my blood counts down each cycle, so much so that I wound up in the hospital last week. <br />
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At about 10pm, Ian was tipped off by my incoherence in answering some of his questions while I was having a little melt-down. We took my temperature and I did have a fever so it was decided I would go to VGH Emergency, where they were concerned I might have an infection of some sort.<br />
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It turns out my hemoglobin had dropped to 44, so I received 4 units over the next day while they ran a lot of other tests. While the care was more or less exemplary, I found myself becoming highly stressed in the hospital and struggle with not viewing it as a traumatic experience.<br />
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I have felt a lot of anxiety lately. I am unsure and upset with the compromised state of my body. I am struggling to find purpose and meaning, and how to regain some sense of normalcy in my life. But, I know getting on here is a good start as I just haven't had the energy or inclination until now. Thank you, dear Emily. Your visit tonight couldn't have been more timely to give me the push I need.<br />
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Love and thanks, too, to all of you who have sent, and continue to send, your messages of support and keep me in the loop with your updates despite my lack of reciprocating. I look so forward to eventually being able to remedy that.Kirsten (not Kristen)http://www.blogger.com/profile/18189966461050575036noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32096611.post-24144379444771481862010-11-28T12:07:00.000-08:002010-11-28T12:07:54.614-08:00Just a Quick Post to Say...I am still not feeling great, but "they" say I am making improvements, so I guess I will go with that. I am still in bed a lot of the time, have lost a lot of weight, and am having to regain my muscles/strength to walk without worrying everyone.<br />
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Since I last wrote, I've started a new chemo, Revlamid/Lenolinomide, which is just one pill taken orally for 21 days, then 7 off. I've just finished the 21 days and haven't had any major side effects, but because it is only one capsule daily, it will take a few weeks to see if it is having any effect or if it is going to give me any trouble.<br />
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My skin is still uncomfortable due, now, to excessive dryness, so it burns when I stretch. What I wouldn't give to be comfortable in my own skin again. I've had more than a few cries these past few weeks. I just want to be a able to do at least some of the things I used to take for granted, like take Finn for a walk.Kirsten (not Kristen)http://www.blogger.com/profile/18189966461050575036noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32096611.post-45806761508997732302010-11-01T15:42:00.000-07:002010-11-01T16:09:26.151-07:00Well, After Last Time's Rather Heavy Post...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I thought I'd do a light and easy hair update. Besides, who can stay sad when George Michael is wiggling his butt in your face.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">But I digress...</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Now, where has all my hair gone?</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">South, apparently...</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">It seems just one dose of the Vinblastine caused it to start falling out, and, like last time, it also changed the texture. It seemed really waxy and hard to brush, but it was when I woke with a Marleyesque-dreaded unicorn horn that I knew I had to take matters into my own hands, hence the cut with my Ikea scissors.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">A little Pat Benatar, but not bad, I thought. <i>Until...</i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><i><br />
</i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">My TCM practitioner, yes, <i>TCM practitioner, </i>of all people, informed me as I was lying on her table that...I had "a tail."</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><i>Of hair? </i>I implored in horror.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><i>Yes, about this long...</i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><i><br />
</i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Well, stirrup my pants and put me in an Wham video.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Who could know such a thing when one cannot see the back of one's head? I thought that's what friends and family were for - to tell you when you have broccoli in your teeth or when your fly is undone. <i>Or</i>, say, <i>when you are sporting an 80s rat tail some twenty-five years after the fact.</i> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I thought you people were supposed to be looking out for me. Meanwhile, I'm strutting around town (ok, maybe just the bedroom) all week with a tail that was apparently long enough to braid. Yes (be still my beating heart), <i>braid.</i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">But I'll get you, my pretties.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">There's nothing a little El Debarge for Christmas can't fix.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">(and thanks, Jenn, for tidying me up)</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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</div>Kirsten (not Kristen)http://www.blogger.com/profile/18189966461050575036noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32096611.post-22636957846062915342010-10-28T17:17:00.000-07:002010-10-28T20:03:20.365-07:00Rainy Thursday(pause ipod on the right if viewing)<br />
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Thanks, Dallas. You put it better than anybody else today.<br />
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But in my own words, finally a note to update as I have been completely unable to do this in any sort of reasonable time frame, via phone, email, or here (laptop death by falling has not helped matters, and, yes, it <i>is</i> possible to destroy a Mac, especially when it throws itself off the bed and hits a chair on the way down).<br />
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Things have been rough.<br />
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<i>Correction.</i><br />
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Things have been down right awful with the exception of the last few days.<br />
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While we did manage to get a handle, more-or-less, on the itching through the use of Atarax and one dose of a chemo I've had in the past, Vinblastine, the chemo created a new set of problems that continued to leave me pretty much bed ridden for the last several weeks.<br />
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When I've had Vinblastine in the past, I've tolerated it quite well. This time I experienced the fairly rare side effect of nerve pain in my face and jaw for about 3 days which was excruciating. Imagine thousands of pins being poked through your face from the inside.<br />
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Actually, don't. Who wants to think about that?<br />
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The Vinblastine also really knocked my counts back which were still trying to recover from the Bendamustine. I was beyond tired and also couldn't regulate my body temperature, so every time I moved (which was rare, but when I did), I would spend nearly an hour trying to get warm again.<br />
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When I was up and at least able to watch tv in the living room, it was usually in my ski jacket with two or three blankets and a hot water bottle. Oh, <i>and</i> a touque. Finally, I had three units of blood transfused, which didn't give me the expected boost right away, but I am definitely feeling an improvement these past few days.<br />
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I have been out of bed and doing light (very light) activity like a few laps around the inside of the house to try and build my stamina. I feel like every muscle I ever had is gone from all the time in bed. It's getting better, but my core muscles also really atrophied so it's hard to even stand up straight, but that is improving.<br />
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So now what?<br />
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The CT scan I had last week indicated "stability", more or less, in the existing areas of disease, but the disease in my liver has grown.<br />
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Dr. C has been queuing up Revlamid for me which is a drug normally used for multiple myeloma, but has shown novel results in some cases of Hodgkin's. The Cancer Agency would not agree to pay for me to try it (even though it is a drug they have on site), but, fortunately, the drug company has a compassionate use program and we have extended coverage that, to our surprise, covers 80%.<br />
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I was hoping for more time to recover before having more chemo, but, for obvious reasons (my liver), it is best if I start as soon as possible, which could even be in the next few days.<br />
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Of course, the decision to start or stop any drug is up to me, but I'm just finding lately it's one thing to say refractory Hodgkin's can often be managed as a chronic disease, bridging the gaps from one emerging treatment to the next, but it is another thing to live it, and I am tired.<br />
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On the flip-side, I could begin the Revlamid and find I feel a whole lot better, or, dare I say, have this be the drug that finally finds the right pathway to the HL and murders the little fuckers (sorry, but it's a fuck kind of day).<br />
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Regardless, I guess anything is still possible, I just don't feel that way right now, and I would like to.<br />
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It's just so hard to feel hopeful and strong when your body feels so weak.Kirsten (not Kristen)http://www.blogger.com/profile/18189966461050575036noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32096611.post-53108682963650498552010-09-30T02:34:00.000-07:002010-09-30T21:05:24.343-07:00Summer Highlight Reel<div style="text-align: center;">It's so good to be back in the blogosphere, even if it is to report the difficulty as of late. I am extremely grateful and touched by the outpouring of support, near and far, particularly in light of the fact that my energy has made reciprocating and keeping up correspondences such a challenge for so long.<br />
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Please know that each and every email, call, letter and kind deed mean the world to me and, despite cancer being an unwelcome guest, living with it has invited so many incredible people into my life, some I have never even met.<br />
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On that note, I think maybe, just maybe, I am starting to feel a wee bit better (though I am up at 2 am because my feet were so on fire in bed, I thought I was going to tear them off). However, bowl of Haagen Daz now in hand (which is tempting to slather on my feet), I thought I would post some photos of a few of summer highlights before I became the <i>Itchy & Scratchy Show.</i></div><div><br />
</div><div><div style="text-align: center;">Some of you may recall our "refurbishment" last year of a little Boston Whaler. I am happy to report that <i>Suzy Spitfire</i> (long story) got back on the water this summer...<br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmmg89Ovr7fpTeN5UGBhhgUMGK_IySAqakbqc14Q7zA2YBEKMTo8SLoTWkyF88-cgqPgBGZHGbUjTt7pUUdyx9Tvbp4bCxoAwFHssM7Fm38kV9_pEECJAnLk_4SDlesMZ4zOE7Uw/s1600/100_3092.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmmg89Ovr7fpTeN5UGBhhgUMGK_IySAqakbqc14Q7zA2YBEKMTo8SLoTWkyF88-cgqPgBGZHGbUjTt7pUUdyx9Tvbp4bCxoAwFHssM7Fm38kV9_pEECJAnLk_4SDlesMZ4zOE7Uw/s320/100_3092.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">We designed a new decal in a vintage font with an appropriately cheeky hula girl...</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-M_Ve40rXXM8lo-bLzc1qWX0UQAkFhf0chCJU5-TSNLjrbNyFDiUiSIt2VQXDcfmATS9WgzT52bRKPjstfvmRbJv-4xsJ9bqHmAJWqwp75lOu37mDgiudeETFc4vd1jeVKOZncA/s1600/100_3097.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-M_Ve40rXXM8lo-bLzc1qWX0UQAkFhf0chCJU5-TSNLjrbNyFDiUiSIt2VQXDcfmATS9WgzT52bRKPjstfvmRbJv-4xsJ9bqHmAJWqwp75lOu37mDgiudeETFc4vd1jeVKOZncA/s320/100_3097.JPG" width="240" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">I even found a "real" hula girl for the dash at the carwash. You will also note the extremely practical vintage fabric throw cushions I made for the bench seats. I probably shouldn't mention that on this particular trip, we packed the cushions but forgot our life jackets...</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXvloJdleaBTku4madyZc5xQs3n7qRggB15Kc4m42B8JoSh3TSufWceS-fX-NNYFgsPrEG3ShAIBgQWkkzrgqW7PpvJ2Lb-40lHSUeqb_dR9A1WZj3SYcu2hCeUfX2J7bSniim9Q/s1600/100_3098.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXvloJdleaBTku4madyZc5xQs3n7qRggB15Kc4m42B8JoSh3TSufWceS-fX-NNYFgsPrEG3ShAIBgQWkkzrgqW7PpvJ2Lb-40lHSUeqb_dR9A1WZj3SYcu2hCeUfX2J7bSniim9Q/s320/100_3098.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Here is Suzy, our official mascot...<br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGP8pLwF6vu2MDJKy2d9OdgFtHpsyU2vI6VxIrwijl1GH1SWn_Ez5voknj3AQIqCuZCW5M7jyewBzRKFBVqfzwbIDHp7rE0ECwI5oCxbDKAmj4fYNgg4YiPWkk4HPO5_TsIp_x3g/s1600/100_3036.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGP8pLwF6vu2MDJKy2d9OdgFtHpsyU2vI6VxIrwijl1GH1SWn_Ez5voknj3AQIqCuZCW5M7jyewBzRKFBVqfzwbIDHp7rE0ECwI5oCxbDKAmj4fYNgg4YiPWkk4HPO5_TsIp_x3g/s320/100_3036.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Ahoy Suzy!<br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1gyZQyu99O7wo3qqnvWv7BTbPHxeMGBPFxqwSctXtGQtI0QxqtXtwRFMUQhbcrjaLSaRe8JNwQLQ7J0HOKZAlXzhpX_80BnE3hyphenhyphenaVWrlO7Vf-GcBPkDSlhz22jfRpph1WC-GEfw/s1600/100_2996.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1gyZQyu99O7wo3qqnvWv7BTbPHxeMGBPFxqwSctXtGQtI0QxqtXtwRFMUQhbcrjaLSaRe8JNwQLQ7J0HOKZAlXzhpX_80BnE3hyphenhyphenaVWrlO7Vf-GcBPkDSlhz22jfRpph1WC-GEfw/s320/100_2996.JPG" width="240" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">After a stalled motor, several failed attempts and a new starter, we were finally heading up Indian Arm on a gorgeous summer day (don't look, I have bad hair and gum on my flip-flop)...</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgth5WMQMP44ca4KpwODkILzSgIGt_TogtmDb0nCkD-8k9AWeNgf6hAHVSN6mUQXMHm5Hk_73sBWj1lgR6BfPR3YPcxwnS9PwI5rHIVttcsxk8y6n61YCTJxiCuixGCQ9rqXvUyLg/s1600/100_3004.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgth5WMQMP44ca4KpwODkILzSgIGt_TogtmDb0nCkD-8k9AWeNgf6hAHVSN6mUQXMHm5Hk_73sBWj1lgR6BfPR3YPcxwnS9PwI5rHIVttcsxk8y6n61YCTJxiCuixGCQ9rqXvUyLg/s320/100_3004.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">All was going well...<i>until</i>...the engine cut out halfway up the Arm...(approximately 8 kilometres from the boat launch). I have no idea why I am talking like such a dork or referring to myself in the third person...</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dws3eD4jm5R9VugyDm8q7uxeDYASjoiQF-cnfNqZUTmQRMYOHmWXsAvtquo7dZCDNbgIw_Q6woM8Ls' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Luckily, we'd bought a trolling motor to have on board as a back-up, which had us moving at a snail's pace (but at least we were moving)...<i>until...</i>the battery died...</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgA0pLEzsKpdud3dr08u84gWFcA-7CN7G7hEm55cD7sM6doEKsBGPFkMcjTWJerdCa1k2tLbYBOCmZdcEZu_kfNKVndxsyfGa2ff1cVcsdwfVgbWVL6ZzQOVv42TzhGbIKaL3DbLA/s1600/100_3011.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgA0pLEzsKpdud3dr08u84gWFcA-7CN7G7hEm55cD7sM6doEKsBGPFkMcjTWJerdCa1k2tLbYBOCmZdcEZu_kfNKVndxsyfGa2ff1cVcsdwfVgbWVL6ZzQOVv42TzhGbIKaL3DbLA/s320/100_3011.JPG" width="240" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">But, like all good sailors, I was prepared with supplies...a tin of mints in my, <i>um</i>, purse...</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9AxhUKWClzMYnvHqvxzSrM0pd9U-AjqlsoDh5d6pgmb04Vu8Y-bifpef9sDM1O5MIStZmNj2bJyUbX4XelALRmsTWHh3fnbFNChbwqmBqglVJd390kTWGcz0azvSjG2aXu8CAwQ/s1600/100_3017.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9AxhUKWClzMYnvHqvxzSrM0pd9U-AjqlsoDh5d6pgmb04Vu8Y-bifpef9sDM1O5MIStZmNj2bJyUbX4XelALRmsTWHh3fnbFNChbwqmBqglVJd390kTWGcz0azvSjG2aXu8CAwQ/s320/100_3017.JPG" width="240" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">We also forgot water which we discovered to be rather unfortunate when it became apparent that we were going to be rowing with our <i>one</i> oar about 2 kilometres <i>past</i> that small island in the distance...</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRlG6g21cdpNL68BokBbayCnXz4cYruScXsFnLQqbvBsXaSZ7LnuWm9QrDzid8Q2wjdM8penNHTfR8Z7j7CDgiRDIbvc7TuZbx9yFoSdH94ZPjEyxRAYJc5RgEIHcNxo9i0J9XaA/s1600/100_3018.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRlG6g21cdpNL68BokBbayCnXz4cYruScXsFnLQqbvBsXaSZ7LnuWm9QrDzid8Q2wjdM8penNHTfR8Z7j7CDgiRDIbvc7TuZbx9yFoSdH94ZPjEyxRAYJc5RgEIHcNxo9i0J9XaA/s320/100_3018.JPG" width="240" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">At one point, we could have flagged down the harbour police, but we were too proud. However, after an hour and a half of rowing, we said <i>f*ck pride</i> and accepted a sea rescue...<br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-oXYZV7-P8hesl5G2cJEvJ8aHmhzLjZXQHl1kmdJlLK6g0CR_218poWh6f6TkbAqMka3tSjfCYtqJf1ZA772IuZuaTAqZDNubdrkMWhoJIXVH-kxCjxNIoelm1v0sd6ROuLXuew/s1600/100_3019.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-oXYZV7-P8hesl5G2cJEvJ8aHmhzLjZXQHl1kmdJlLK6g0CR_218poWh6f6TkbAqMka3tSjfCYtqJf1ZA772IuZuaTAqZDNubdrkMWhoJIXVH-kxCjxNIoelm1v0sd6ROuLXuew/s320/100_3019.JPG" width="240" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Finally, after handshakes and the promise of delivering a good bottle of wine to the dock of our new best friend, we made it back to Cates Park just in time to see this lovely family unloading their<i> slightly </i>larger Boston Whaler that had three, count 'em, <i>three, </i>Merc' 90 engines (not to mention, they were towing it with some sort of semi...) </div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1wca1K_htLgC3k_bid2jtcuGlbhB5lBf4qooeXu_a_CSucYE6Zj6CNXUA-P5MbvicyP0JcVP25uLM0NM-qeMCA9G7DCeR7o5p_zh2jzomW2FcK6S_8tDW3z4AFyeDqdNLEFcYoQ/s1600/100_3020.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1wca1K_htLgC3k_bid2jtcuGlbhB5lBf4qooeXu_a_CSucYE6Zj6CNXUA-P5MbvicyP0JcVP25uLM0NM-qeMCA9G7DCeR7o5p_zh2jzomW2FcK6S_8tDW3z4AFyeDqdNLEFcYoQ/s320/100_3020.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Slightly humbled, we took a few days' break from boating and did the obvious, drove to Squamish for grilled-cheese sandwiches...I love this place!</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqswU5u6SQlYDXV0Aw1e19P4iuapum7M5y-BTCt0Tz2lpqUTToD-kDLJYH13eEiYGSePW5uy0Vqew_sCbJ916gA7u9FFFZiXJcz9XyfoE3XQ9ZpvX8g_jRa3IXJFHlQaU6Sq_ECQ/s1600/100_3070.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqswU5u6SQlYDXV0Aw1e19P4iuapum7M5y-BTCt0Tz2lpqUTToD-kDLJYH13eEiYGSePW5uy0Vqew_sCbJ916gA7u9FFFZiXJcz9XyfoE3XQ9ZpvX8g_jRa3IXJFHlQaU6Sq_ECQ/s320/100_3070.JPG" width="240" /></a></div><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">They have 64 kinds!<br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNgCbmV_vAWBEBTTMpUvELCpNma_sQoaycKppSPzqTDm2xrq4M_pvRzZVNebh0VKDl5SF4uDwzpDkDfAqg-LeZ3M3UuWjIhP2eizWWz-c2cWQT8l-ou-7I7xCKGado41GsBkf3Ew/s1600/100_3067.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNgCbmV_vAWBEBTTMpUvELCpNma_sQoaycKppSPzqTDm2xrq4M_pvRzZVNebh0VKDl5SF4uDwzpDkDfAqg-LeZ3M3UuWjIhP2eizWWz-c2cWQT8l-ou-7I7xCKGado41GsBkf3Ew/s320/100_3067.JPG" width="240" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Granted, it's not exactly haute cuisine, but they even come with <i>cheesies</i> and a peppermint patty...</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjO1i-9s9WdBDK-6Jx9f_a0CC6nNxMykxuGfnkpdpj6cGnLj59ohGesNTXXdlHA_5vL0x6Ps3ZSypde1tjRmDBDT5USMM3JwRtI6U2ZBAbSs1PRbEafhRRuiwDBTD86q1yH2HbT0Q/s1600/100_3073.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjO1i-9s9WdBDK-6Jx9f_a0CC6nNxMykxuGfnkpdpj6cGnLj59ohGesNTXXdlHA_5vL0x6Ps3ZSypde1tjRmDBDT5USMM3JwRtI6U2ZBAbSs1PRbEafhRRuiwDBTD86q1yH2HbT0Q/s320/100_3073.JPG" width="240" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">In the midst of all the great weather, we also decided it was high time to have a "house" concert in our back yard. Only, after 40 record days of sunshine, it decided to rain that day, which threw a rather large wrench and an ugly blue tarp into our plan...</div><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjH5G0FyjQbx703g6XUjI0dwXuWz8wQY3wR2zl88c7fp2QOjTyR4mBPijUr-rqUx8rtlDiHMkZIbRZMzvO9VptQR4v_O27X9ImPYoIVG6X0tHyk9CpRf2AsunjVXh8Yzc011arrPQ/s1600/DSC_0009.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjH5G0FyjQbx703g6XUjI0dwXuWz8wQY3wR2zl88c7fp2QOjTyR4mBPijUr-rqUx8rtlDiHMkZIbRZMzvO9VptQR4v_O27X9ImPYoIVG6X0tHyk9CpRf2AsunjVXh8Yzc011arrPQ/s320/DSC_0009.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">And, because I can't play anything other than the doorbell, I was on wine and cheese duty. I also had so many tea lights lit by dark that I'm surprised nobody caught on fire. That would have been awkward.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVbkvLtU21MjwPjU8lEKRWGulj6J-77ooQsJ2gTxlzp8joKaUoPb0EjxrPC06_PWeALsqyf4HDxVwi32z2AJgg9YF9UMCxj93xsQyAjXvzbiC6VTZIZ20j1W5b8fcHa9YXzUAJNA/s1600/4903418454_1f2dfa7cbf_b.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVbkvLtU21MjwPjU8lEKRWGulj6J-77ooQsJ2gTxlzp8joKaUoPb0EjxrPC06_PWeALsqyf4HDxVwi32z2AJgg9YF9UMCxj93xsQyAjXvzbiC6VTZIZ20j1W5b8fcHa9YXzUAJNA/s320/4903418454_1f2dfa7cbf_b.jpg" width="276" /></a></div><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">The young and talented Saul Chabot opened the evening (great pic below by his mama, Nicol Lischka, who played next in her fantastic duo with partner, Ryan Matches, both of whom I seem to have no photos of). I must have been lighting more candles...</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWpQMXjPO0MwARPM9TPey5Dj9q8_y5kkG0jqsv4O4Pd9EhTtWLKEDmyr37hMZ8Q64NTFbF8oYSEiyASXHTCupWNZ9igFQ8QL9lbSkkvB3FKQ-jrIdunpMSAwdTn9RcAuY4oZrjAw/s1600/4910839144_bf0acca132_b.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWpQMXjPO0MwARPM9TPey5Dj9q8_y5kkG0jqsv4O4Pd9EhTtWLKEDmyr37hMZ8Q64NTFbF8oYSEiyASXHTCupWNZ9igFQ8QL9lbSkkvB3FKQ-jrIdunpMSAwdTn9RcAuY4oZrjAw/s320/4910839144_bf0acca132_b.jpg" width="213" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">The boys of Five Star Motel (insert shameless promotion of husband's band <a href="http://www.fivestarmotel.ca/">here</a>. <i>Greasy Thumb</i> and <i>Don't Try Writing</i> are a couple of my personal favs) came on last with Ian starting on the djembe. However, once he moved to his drum kit, I think the whole neighborhood knew we meant business as the band was fully mic'd...</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4o_7rNJxosCpP-hqJ7htBdzU7QNwh4qOZN8NYb-db8EQSJ4eIKW37QD3wYkh4yJdF0IcttB7tlHcdFXNneQQtLEXhHB5yhsRyVd8EgQbH71wbRLqAk25cAyxGVMbQdemqEmfq3Q/s1600/4910881906_91ed569642_b.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4o_7rNJxosCpP-hqJ7htBdzU7QNwh4qOZN8NYb-db8EQSJ4eIKW37QD3wYkh4yJdF0IcttB7tlHcdFXNneQQtLEXhHB5yhsRyVd8EgQbH71wbRLqAk25cAyxGVMbQdemqEmfq3Q/s320/4910881906_91ed569642_b.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Still, everyone managed to get back on stage for an encore without the police showing up...</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBnj36GbS4H5YcqVstWbnV2m2qecDUrUYpib6pwgq0NvfxaJmct5A9uDApzrGnEVujbk7u54KJNayZZhheok2Go5UIBYTON4WpdrtvAFgwgjmeHNr23y4IjsttGSrvbi8TyzMgCA/s1600/8586_5Star.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBnj36GbS4H5YcqVstWbnV2m2qecDUrUYpib6pwgq0NvfxaJmct5A9uDApzrGnEVujbk7u54KJNayZZhheok2Go5UIBYTON4WpdrtvAFgwgjmeHNr23y4IjsttGSrvbi8TyzMgCA/s320/8586_5Star.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">...including Ian, who, as usual, is hidden by front man Paul's guitar arm. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> As well, in the midst of lots of fun this summer, we also managed to renovate a good portion of our house. When I look back, I realize that I haven't felt as horrible as I have lately for as long as it seems. It's nice to remember that and know that this, too, shall pass.</div></div>Kirsten (not Kristen)http://www.blogger.com/profile/18189966461050575036noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32096611.post-55064600767761485862010-09-27T08:51:00.000-07:002010-09-28T19:25:59.747-07:00Bad Blog OwnerThat I am. However, September did not turn out to be the month I had hoped for. I have lost more friends to this stupid disease and have been plagued by symptoms/side effects myself.<br />
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But, before I go worrying everyone, let me preface that by saying that there have not been any dramatic shifts in disease activity (that I am aware of). Instead, I have been riddled with itching comparable to what I experienced in Montreal on the MGCD 0103 trial. As well, the chronic anemia I have has been really flaring leaving me with very little energy. <br />
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I had hoped that September would be a gentle ease back into autumn activities, workshops, a few courses and ongoing projects; however, I have been pretty inactive most of the month which, of course, for me, leads to sporadic bouts of situational depression. <br />
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I think it is safe to say I am also experiencing significant treatment burnout. In the past, this tends to happen when I enter a phase without a definite plan, which is the case now that I have finished the six rounds of Bendamustine. Well, actually, that's not exactly true. <br />
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Dr. C. here has been extremely on-the-ball with regard to future treatments and already has several options queued up. I guess it is just hard to get excited about more chemo (it has been four-and-a-half years of one drug or another) and the unknown side effects that come with it. Still, in writing that, I am glad that options have thus far kept appearing when I need them.<br />
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That said, equanimity is an elusive state these days. Not to mention, relentless itching, while it might sound trivial, has been one of the hardest symptoms for me to deal with throughout this whole ordeal. <br />
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There are probably no words to truly describe what it feels like to have my entire body engulfed in such an extreme physical sensation. It is not like just having a camping trip's worth of mosquito bites - the best way I can think to describe it is to say it feels like all the blood in my body is coursing through my veins with daggers scratching me unceasingly from the inside. It is worse at night - I do not sleep and instead writhe around experiencing alternating states of itching, scratching, anxiety, and utter exasperation.<br />
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While itching is a common symptom of Hodgkin's, we have never felt that it is a definitive indicator in my case as I have always had underlying skin issues. I have been extremely itchy and had no disease activity, as well as had significant progression and no itching, so it is not especially reliable. However, it does seem to be my nemesis throughout these past few years. Our best guess is that it is, for better or worse, an auto-immune response of some sort.<br />
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So, with all this talk of cat-scratch fever, are <i>you</i> itchy yet?<br />
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I apologize if you are. Whenever people talk about itching, I start to scratch, but that's probably just me and the crack-head driven rototiller running amuck through my veins.Kirsten (not Kristen)http://www.blogger.com/profile/18189966461050575036noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32096611.post-36095958657065943392010-09-05T09:37:00.000-07:002010-09-05T13:57:21.720-07:00We're On the AirHello out there. I'm back.<br />
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Well, I didn't really go that far in terms of distance this summer, but I do feel like I have travelled significantly. More on that later...<br />
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For now, I would like to post about other travels. My mother-in-law Edith is currently visiting family in the UK and, as part of her trip, has decided to visit the <a href="http://www.sacredsites.com/europe/scotland/callanish.html">Callanish Stones</a> on the remote Isle of Lewis in the Outer Hebrides of Scotland.<br />
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The stone circle at Callanish is believed to be more than 5000 years old and is considered by many to be one of the world's most sacred sites. The purpose and use of the stones has been much speculated upon, but it is generally agreed that it was originally conceived as an astronomical observation device.<br />
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Many of you know, of course, that the <a href="http://www.callanish.org/">Callanish Society</a> here in Vancouver, of which I am gratefully a part, also bears this name. The sound of the word <i>Callanish</i> and the beauty, lore and enduring strength of the magnificant stone circle are what complelled executive director Janie Brown (who is also my teacher, beloved friend and a whole lot of Scot in a wee body) to found the Society with this name more than a decade ago.<br />
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To be a part of the Callanish community is to know intimately the power and strength of the unassuming circle, particularly in times of illness. I have sat in many over the last four years, at times speaking, writing, weeping, laughing and, most often, deeply listening to the wisdom of those who comprise each unique configuration. That our journeys, individually and collectively, are connected to a lineage that is centuries old, whether we be of Scottish descent or not, is of extraordinary comfort.<br />
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So, when Edith graciously asked if she could take anything to, or, do anything at the Stones for me, you can imagine how touched I was. I gave it a lot of thought and, not surprisingly, decided that what seemed most appropriate and meaningful would be to have her carry my own small stone to Callanish, to be placed amongst the standing giants.<br />
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Prior to its journey, the stone I selected (from the shore of a beach that is special to me) spent time in the hands of a number of loved ones, each imbuing it with their hopes, intentions and wishes of healing for me. <br />
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The morning of its departure, I held it in my own hands and read a <a href="http://floydsk.wordpress.com/2008/10/29/a-blessing-for-a-friend-on-the-arrival-of-illness/">blessing</a> by John O'Donohue dedicated to all who struggle.<br />
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This Tuesday, September 7th, at 7am (PST) this small stone and the immense energy it carries will be placed in the Callanish Circle, on the Isle of Lewis, nearly 5000 miles away.<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIcA0XjS5EgxFDc6LWowfMGO7BVpjPGXMXi2SRw90LTvbFK_SrvZNo0Cdc6kY7Up78isS9WMKYc66-erPJGCnOCPGbhCg62SMtm-GVllKAaqI8aqCeICmwlFfb7iJR0ylXtiMe8A/s1600/DSC_0020.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIcA0XjS5EgxFDc6LWowfMGO7BVpjPGXMXi2SRw90LTvbFK_SrvZNo0Cdc6kY7Up78isS9WMKYc66-erPJGCnOCPGbhCg62SMtm-GVllKAaqI8aqCeICmwlFfb7iJR0ylXtiMe8A/s320/DSC_0020.jpg" width="214" /></a></div>Kirsten (not Kristen)http://www.blogger.com/profile/18189966461050575036noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32096611.post-92053873559671079432010-07-20T11:21:00.000-07:002010-07-20T13:28:53.815-07:00Summertime...<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVUW0qmnPchU_RaLj9Em-40MU6p03-sIFHJZQu9dESZDdQoELEX8jxpZ7_K-v2hMzu0ZQf2MRpoqPTJmT-uWjyxv1sZ_Hpvlgaptmibc2fuMWXsI5jmKYwo4ITxVcBfRZEFfH3Gw/s1600/100_2896.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 147px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVUW0qmnPchU_RaLj9Em-40MU6p03-sIFHJZQu9dESZDdQoELEX8jxpZ7_K-v2hMzu0ZQf2MRpoqPTJmT-uWjyxv1sZ_Hpvlgaptmibc2fuMWXsI5jmKYwo4ITxVcBfRZEFfH3Gw/s320/100_2896.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5496086063601369922" /></a><br />...and the livin's ea-<span style="font-style:italic;">zay</span>.<br /><br />Still, I thought I better get on this thing and let you know that I have not been eaten by shag carpeting despite rumours to the contrary.<br /><br />I've just been busy enjoying all that summer has to offer...lots of walks, lounging, ice tea, reading, martinis, swimming, writing, visiting, and, oh yeah, MORE god-damned painting.<br /><br />Many, I'm sure, think I have lost my marbles by painting virtually everything we own white (particularly in light of the fact that we have a large, unruly <span style="font-style:italic;">brown</span> dog). However, there is a method to my madness. That, or I just really like to spend my time cleaning. <span style="font-style:italic;">Not.</span><br /><br />But, I do love textiles and have quite a short attention span. So, the best bang for my buck? Lots of colourful throw cushions and blankets that I can change on a whim. Cheap and cheerful.<br /><br />I also like to think that, rather than being really boring, choosing white as a paint colour actually indicates my vast complexity. It is, after all, a composite of all the colours of the rainbow. In fact, there are 158 different shades of white according to Benjamin Moore.<br /><br />So, there you have it. Complex, mad with colour and drunk on summer. <br /><br />Really, is there a better way to live?<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1yE3Hsiq64qAH4UIK7LLzzubWBlR_iQksuGFOceP2t3SvMaSrZVKhwiDyVMIu4Y2vbyVgeJuQtmCumVnjA6zLsb2YCLdej-BjhjoKPr3gEc1VRO1rXZxYKBRysZ7BLSUVJXIVQg/s1600/DSC_0131.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1yE3Hsiq64qAH4UIK7LLzzubWBlR_iQksuGFOceP2t3SvMaSrZVKhwiDyVMIu4Y2vbyVgeJuQtmCumVnjA6zLsb2YCLdej-BjhjoKPr3gEc1VRO1rXZxYKBRysZ7BLSUVJXIVQg/s320/DSC_0131.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5496087180967921346" /></a><br />(Finn after too many martinis)Kirsten (not Kristen)http://www.blogger.com/profile/18189966461050575036noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32096611.post-53504478298357666242010-06-29T19:41:00.000-07:002010-06-29T22:43:23.786-07:00Thanks to you...The Canadian Cancer Society issued a <a href="http://www.cancer.ca/Canada-wide/About%20us/Media%20centre/CW-Media%20releases/CW-2010/Asbestos%20letter.aspx?sc_lang=en">media release</a> today publicly stating its objection to the Quebec government's plan to loan Jeffrey Asbestos Mines 58 million dollars. The CCS also sent a letter to Premier Jean Charest urging him not to back the loan.<br /><br />While the battle is not over, the letter and public statement by the CCS are important steps in stopping Canada's participation in the deadly sale of asbestos to third world countries, and the Cancer Society took action due to intense <a href="http://www.cbc.ca/health/story/2010/06/29/mtl-cancer-society-asbestos-industry.html">public pressure</a>.<br /><br />Thank you to the many of you reading who took the time to write the CCS, Charest and the Prime Minister (aka "the Asshole in Charge") to make your voices heard. <br /><br />And thank you, too, for the many good vibes and wishes sent my way for my latest CT scan.<br /><br />Drum roll please...<br /><br />I'm happy to report continued stability and a few more decreases. <br /><br />Not a bad way to start the summer. Not bad at all.<br /><br />Now what else shall we tackle?Kirsten (not Kristen)http://www.blogger.com/profile/18189966461050575036noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32096611.post-91741359423502666222010-06-24T09:45:00.000-07:002010-06-24T12:42:54.946-07:00Speak Up<span style="font-style:italic;">It will be remembered as an act of barbarism in the history of industrial development where asbestos was knowingly allowed to be used, and where workers were knowingly subjected to it.</span>—Gobal Krishna, activist<br /><br />Last week, 37 physicians from 19 countries signed a letter to Quebec Health Minister Yves Bolduc, urging him to comply with the medical code of ethics and stop overlooking the risks posed by asbestos. Earlier in the year, over 100 scientists from 28 countries sent Quebec Premier Jean Charest a letter appealing to him to put public health ahead of trade.<br /><br />You'd think this was a no brainer, but apparently not.<br /><br />In 2008, the $100-million Canadian asbestos industry exported 175,000 tonnes of chrysotile; almost all of it went to developing countries, including India, Indonesia, and Bangladesh. Now the asbestos industry in Quebec is asking for and will likely receive a 58-million dollar subsidy from its government unless public outcry is heard this week.<br /><br />Please take a minute of your time today to email <a href="http://preventcancernow.ca/action-alert-on-deadly-asbestos">this letter</a> to Canadian Cancer Society CEO, Peter Goodhand (pgoodhand@cancer.ca), to let him know Canadians refuse to export illness to developing countries and want the CCS to publicly oppose the subsidy.<br /><br />Afterall, you can't grow daffodils in asbestos either.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBPYvgU98_n1aiV3uYExkU-baHkX-DtTPB3VAIvI2OZpGqyAdrcMndvM-OFs2IqUmscQZPdPaHLrr1mzGmdI41UIvGEWxE8tpRrnvCPsXPWKTdI6Ssw3H-S_RR-sWFfApzK9kSSg/s1600/images.jpeg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 94px; height: 94px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBPYvgU98_n1aiV3uYExkU-baHkX-DtTPB3VAIvI2OZpGqyAdrcMndvM-OFs2IqUmscQZPdPaHLrr1mzGmdI41UIvGEWxE8tpRrnvCPsXPWKTdI6Ssw3H-S_RR-sWFfApzK9kSSg/s320/images.jpeg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5486391045913270434" /></a><br />For more information, click <a href="http://www.cbc.ca/video/#/News/TV_Shows/The_National/Health/ID=1304445584">here.</a>Kirsten (not Kristen)http://www.blogger.com/profile/18189966461050575036noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32096611.post-43612308371300883452010-06-23T22:40:00.000-07:002010-06-23T23:12:49.478-07:00Tempting FateSo, today the sun finally came out to play and after a busy morning and a great hike along the river with Finn, I caught a nap in the hammock on our deck. It was so nice to relax as there hasn't been enough of that lately.<br /><br />However, tonight the rain started falling again so I had to bring our patio cushions back inside for what must be the gazillionth time this season. So much for the Pottery Barn lifestyle.<br /><br />Anyhow, while I am exceedingly overtired and prone to temper tantrums about baseboard and butcher block, I am still feeling great. Therefore, I'll be damned if I'm going to go in tomorrow and hear anything other than good news about last week's CT scan. Sure, I'm probably tempting fate here, but, screw it, I like to live dangerously.<br /><br />Perhaps I should march in to my appointment tomorrow in go-go boots shouting <span style="font-style:italic;">Don't bring me down, Brrrrrruce...</span><br /><br />Oh, wait, my doctor's name is Joe.<br /><br />No matter, you get the point.<br /><br /><object width="445" height="364"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/ctxLMTjS3HY&hl=en_US&fs=1&rel=0&border=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/ctxLMTjS3HY&hl=en_US&fs=1&rel=0&border=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="345" height="364"></embed></object><br /><br />What's with the flashing hot dog?Kirsten (not Kristen)http://www.blogger.com/profile/18189966461050575036noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32096611.post-88783538102604502032010-06-20T18:20:00.000-07:002010-07-11T10:58:01.948-07:00The Spacious HeartLast Wednesday was stunning.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.callanish.org">Callanish</a> played host to several hundred generous hearts who attended its biggest fundraiser to date at the UBC Museum of Anthroplogy in Vancouver.<br /><br />Those of us lucky enough to attend were treated to unparalleled performances by pianist, Maryliz Smith; flautist, Lorna Mc Ghee; violinist, Joan Blackman; and, cellist, Ariel Barnes.<br /><br />It was humbling, to say the least, to get up and speak amongst such talented artists; however, I am always grateful for the opportunity to gush about the people and organization that have had such a profound effect on my life. By request (though I am somewhat shy in doing so), I am including part of my talk here from this special evening.<br /><br />I began with a poem written a few months ago after I requested (god knows why) and received my medical records in the mail. While what they contained was no surprise, as I already have most of the documents in some form or another, it was a rather daunting and unsettling experience to look at them all again.<br /><br />Ironically, as depressing as this poem may sound to you, I actually felt better after writing it. In doing so, I felt like<span style="font-style:italic;"> I</span> had the final say.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><span style="font-style:italic;">For the Record</span></span><br />by Kirsten Andersen<br /><br />You arrived<br />tattered and torn<br />bursting at the seams<br />spilling forth<br />an account of this body<br />Four long years<br />fourteen hundred and fifty-two days<br />narrated across thousands of pages<br />by countless doctors<br />in Vancouver<br />Montreal<br />Seattle<br />Texas<br />all describing the “unfortunate young lady”<br />“an anxious 32-year-old”<br />“with no history of illness”<br />“thin and pale”<br />“a sizeable mass in the chest”<br />“unusually aggressive disease”<br />“no known cure - <span style="font-style:italic;">worldwide</span>”<br />palliative chemo for this “tragic case”<br /><br />Am <span style="font-style:italic;">I</span> tragic?<br /><br />These words have been dictated, transcribed, typed<br />and now delivered to me in a ragged envelope,<br />arriving with the flyers and bills<br />lying beside me in bed this morning<br />GPs, surgeons, oncologists, endocrinologists,<br />radiologists, hematologists,<br />all have had their way with my body,<br />its blood, its marrow, its developing cells,<br />telling a story<br />seemingly hopeless and futile<br />sad and tragic<br />until <br />now<br /><br />***<br /><br />After writing this poem, I asked myself:<br /><br />“What did I mean by <span style="font-style:italic;">now</span>?”<br /><br />“<span style="font-style:italic;">When</span> was now?” <br /><br />When did the repair of a body, spirit and heart broken by cancer, begin?<br /><br />It occurred to me that now was in fact long before the few minutes spent writing this poem. That an invisible mending had begun years before when I first walked through the door to Callanish.<br /><br />It began when I attended my first Young Adult Support Group at Callanish the evening of my first day of chemo in May 2006.<br /><br />It began when I attended my first retreat in January of 2007, three months after a stem cell transplant left me confused and unsure how to approach the future.<br /><br />It began at Callanish in the city, sitting in many retreat day circles and writing groups after I learned that the transplant had not done what was intended and that the cancer had spread to my liver and bones.<br /><br />It began at a weekend workshop entitled the<span style="font-style:italic;"> Sacred Work of Dying</span> in 2009 where we explored the emotional and spiritual obstacles to piece of mind and heart.<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Heart.</span><br /><br />Heart is what beats steadily at the centre of all this work at Callanish. It is offered freely, without exception, without limits.<br /><br />Whether you are young, old, man, woman, gay, straight, Catholic, Jewish, lactose intolerant, there is a place for you at the Callanish table. <br /><br />Heart is encouraged and nourished in each of us who belong to this community.<br /><br />It is what many in this room can attest to creating the conditions for healing, whether we are living with or dying from cancer.<br /><br />And it is the support of this unconditional compassion that brings us here tonight to share in a feast for the ears, and to rest in the spacious, extraordinary heart that is Callanish.<br /><br />***<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJHcDfR84SvbfF8inZPTlLfH_x70x7z9OzXZczZB1Gm7JkFOxpjxEaG6nMCYXK7V6NKjujYhn4pupRhIpBYC_kGmtRPQlbla70elOkGwyN2WTayPaRAoMHjnh6pWNSVetBjguoWA/s1600/DSC_0056.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 208px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJHcDfR84SvbfF8inZPTlLfH_x70x7z9OzXZczZB1Gm7JkFOxpjxEaG6nMCYXK7V6NKjujYhn4pupRhIpBYC_kGmtRPQlbla70elOkGwyN2WTayPaRAoMHjnh6pWNSVetBjguoWA/s320/DSC_0056.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5485085808984105314" /></a> My other two extraordinary hearts with me on Wednesday, <br />my mom and Brian.Kirsten (not Kristen)http://www.blogger.com/profile/18189966461050575036noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32096611.post-58635313614937010942010-06-14T14:00:00.000-07:002010-06-14T14:28:19.746-07:00Movers and ShakersJust stopping in to say hi, I'm alive (though still very much covered in paint).<br /><br />The renos are coming along and we actually spent our first night upstairs yesterday. It's a bit of an awkward set-up as all of our clothes and towels are still in the downstairs suite, and because we covered over the interior stairs to put in our flooring, we have to use the outside ones temporarily to go down to shower and get ready.<br /><br />Still, we could have worse problems. Oh, wait, I guess we do. Regardless, it is wonderful to be sinking our teeth into a major project other than cancer. I feel remarkably well and am convinced that the Bendamustine is continuing to work. I have my next CT scan this Thursday, so we shall see.<br /><br />In the meantime, I'm looking forward to changing out of my grubby work clothes to get all dolled up for a Callanish fundraiser this Wednesday. If you are a lover of classical music, then this is the hottest summer ticket in town. <br /><br />I have been remiss in inviting all of my favorite family and friends, so if you are reading this and would like to come, there are still a few tickets left. I'll be speaking briefly (oh dear), and if you'd like to support the incredible work of the <a href="http://www.callanish.org">Callanish Society</a> while enjoying beautiful music, fine wine and gourmet cheese at the UBC Museum of Anthropolgy, check out the flyer below for ticket information.<br /><br />Now back inside to unpack all our boxes. I am seriously considering radical minimalism.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-e6GZUEXC2Gr8v-u5mH_8bjO7dWpqunQz6IoLJYCwFihsR_LoB4cHs0iBeyrpcfexrNzeUibZxX6odq6QVfe3YPYqIr5zAcHyF98H6DEl4vXGjlpF7iPLdc7f_whf5lSsh-0gyg/s1600/image003.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 225px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-e6GZUEXC2Gr8v-u5mH_8bjO7dWpqunQz6IoLJYCwFihsR_LoB4cHs0iBeyrpcfexrNzeUibZxX6odq6QVfe3YPYqIr5zAcHyF98H6DEl4vXGjlpF7iPLdc7f_whf5lSsh-0gyg/s400/image003.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5482737179398145874" /></a>Kirsten (not Kristen)http://www.blogger.com/profile/18189966461050575036noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32096611.post-86529961938475684812010-06-01T00:09:00.000-07:002010-06-01T04:18:36.853-07:00Awake My Soul<object width="400" height="300"><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true" /><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always" /><param name="movie" value="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=8528144&server=vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=1&show_portrait=0&color=&fullscreen=1" /><embed src="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=8528144&server=vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=1&show_portrait=0&color=&fullscreen=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" width="300" height="300"></embed></object><br /><br />This video makes me laugh and also indicates my state of mind as we are now knee-deep into home renovations.<br /><br />What a bizarre and splendid ride this is - chemo one day, drywalling and painting the next, a gong meditation (with seven gongs!) yesterday and an incredible show at the 560 Club last night with <a href="http://www.mumfordandsons.com/biography">Mumford & Sons</a>. I've been obsessing over them since last year and they didn't disappoint.<br /><br />They are such incredible musicians and <a href="http://www.kyte.tv/ch/mumfordandsons/the-cave/p=1412&c=351777&s=908823&l=2327">beautiful song writers</a>. We bounced along to the beat of the kick drum with about 600 others lucky enough to score tickets to the sold-out show.<br /><br />One weird thing we noticed, though I'm not quite sure why, was the oddly disproportionate amount of tall people at the gig. Now I am quite tall myself, but I actually felt like a weeble amongst trees. I'm not sure what that was about, but it made the evening just that much more interesting. <br /><br />Then it was back to renos this morning. I really must remember to reload my iPod as I like to have it cranked while we're working. However, my audio book of Irish poet and philosopher <a href="http://www.johnodonohue.com/">John O'Donohue</a> has mixed itself in with the songs so, one minute, I'll be jammin' with Ben or Bob, the next, John comes on with his wistful Gaelic accent waxing poetic about the dimensions of the soul.<br /><br />I told you, it's a bit of a trip around here lately. C'mon over!Kirsten (not Kristen)http://www.blogger.com/profile/18189966461050575036noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32096611.post-75009065923272425642010-05-25T23:06:00.000-07:002010-05-26T10:48:14.017-07:00While I Was Gone...I had my 30,000th visitor here and it was none other than my wonderful friend, Kirsten.<br /><br />Hello, my friend! What a great name you have.<br /><br />Kirsten also has a blog, the delightful <a href="http://www.sewlovelyhandmade.blogspot.com/">Sew Lovely</a> that chronicles her crafty adventures on beautiful Bowen Island here in BC. Be sure to check out the adorable gnome garden she recently created for her <br />sweet son, Logan.<br /><br />I want a gnome garden!<br /><br />Having just returned home from a week-long retreat, with time spent hiking in the woods, I remembered all the time I spent imagining fairies in my own childhood gardens. I'm sure they visited.<br /><br />Now what's visiting is an expectant mama skunk who keeps "off-gassing" outside our window. We don't have the heart to evict her from her burrow in our front yard with her impending arrival so near, but it is making Finnegan crazy and us nauseated. Not to mention, I had chemo yesterday and today. <br /><br />Pass the Ondansetron.<br /><br />Hopefully, this round will go as smoothly as the last, though I had a few random barfs while away last week. I'm set to scan again on June 17th.<br /><br />These past few months have been a time of many sad endings and beautiful beginnings, as all time is, I suppose. More friends lost, found, diagnosed, in remission, stable and dying. I lost my grandma too.<br /><br />More babies, moves, renos and weddings.<br /><br />More nature, more music, more writing.<br /><br />It has been a period of relative "stability" for me, so I continue trying to figure out how best to live meaningfully in this circumstance I find <br />myself in. <br /><br />Lucky for me, I have many dear hearts - yours - near and far, to help me do this.Kirsten (not Kristen)http://www.blogger.com/profile/18189966461050575036noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32096611.post-22557146986052203442010-05-14T17:29:00.000-07:002010-05-14T23:52:32.962-07:00Techno SabbaticalOk, I've been seriously neglecting my computer.<br /><br />The emails in my inbox are so fed up, they're considering sending themselves elsewhere, to someone who will actually reply to them. <br /><br />Sorry about that.<br /><br />Don't get me wrong, I LOVE hearing from everyone, but it seems our run of good weather here on the west coast has most of us out enjoying it, and the last place I want to be is on my laptop.<br /><br />My cyber neglect is, however, a good sign that I'm feeling well. This third round of Bendamustine has gone smoothly and I am set to have the fourth round on the 23rd and 24th. I will have my next scan toward the end of June.<br /><br />My oncologist is also looking ahead, which is far preferable to the former "sorry, the tool box is empty" approach we have, at times, experienced. We are aiming to stretch the use of the Bendamustine out to try and get in the maximum six rounds. My bone marrow is already showing signs of fatigue though so, hopefully, it and me will be able to have a little rest before the next course of chemo.<br /><br />With that in mind, I am heading off again tomorrow on a Callanish alumni retreat with fine friends, amazing food, and plenty of time to reflect and write about this path I am on. I look forward to it, but it's certainly no walk in the park.<br /><br />Ironically, while I'm unplugged, it looks like I'll hit my 30,000th visitor here in the blogosphere. Albeit, 29,950 of those visits are probably from my mom, but if you happen to scroll down to the bottom of this page and discover you've hit the magic number, do drop me a line so I can at least give you honorable mention.<br /><br />Thank you to all of you near and far who continue to accompany me on this journey. I have been the recipient of more kindness than one could ever ask for and it has profoundly touched my life. Like this wee video confirms, it can, indeed, change the world too.<br /><br /><object width="580" height="360"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/N_OZUaQondo&hl=en_US&fs=1&rel=0&border=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/N_OZUaQondo&hl=en_US&fs=1&rel=0&border=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="380" height="260"></embed></object>Kirsten (not Kristen)http://www.blogger.com/profile/18189966461050575036noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32096611.post-7518618796940622562010-04-27T08:45:00.000-07:002010-04-27T10:06:48.661-07:00I Am Here<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpmH_c-zUWdG9PgsB_m6viCKppdTV6s_EJinrL2E4IDVIkKGhnO07NMgnNWO5AyWH9ZZ2kllfKaVjz6_cAsWge4jkbh9WBedTlPj6r8Va8uMLjocoNznCG4HztfI9VEPVAQ5-Bhg/s1600/DSC_0074.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpmH_c-zUWdG9PgsB_m6viCKppdTV6s_EJinrL2E4IDVIkKGhnO07NMgnNWO5AyWH9ZZ2kllfKaVjz6_cAsWge4jkbh9WBedTlPj6r8Va8uMLjocoNznCG4HztfI9VEPVAQ5-Bhg/s320/DSC_0074.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5464847299277934834" /></a><br />(Another self portrait)<br /><br />Here I am, indeed.<br /><br />April has been an interesting month.<br /><br />For one, it marks four years since my original diagnosis. Jesus Christ, I didn't plan on writing this blog for <span style="font-style:italic;">that</span> long. On the other hand, I'm obviously extremely glad I'm still here to do it. It means I can officially give the finger to the rather depressing "life expectancy" I was given a few years ago. <br /><br />Seriously, fuck you, cancer.<br /><br />It was also this time two years ago that we moved to Montreal to start my first clinical trial. While there was actually some excitement involved in moving across the country to a great city like Montreal, receiving treatment in another province was hell at times. <br /><br />I'm wishing my friend <a href="http://chris-alt-del.blogspot.com/">Chris</a> all the best as he begins the SAHA/Niaminicide trial away from home in New York, and the same for Bekah who has begun SGN-35, the same trial I was on last year. May these both be the drugs that knock the living shit out of the Hodge. <br /><br />Ok, that's enough swearing for now. <br /><br />Round three of the Bendamustine has been manageable. Again, I did not repeat the vomiting of round one and seem to have it down to a few days of dizziness and a week or so of fatigue. <br /><br />This, I can manage.Kirsten (not Kristen)http://www.blogger.com/profile/18189966461050575036noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32096611.post-80476437467635574172010-04-19T21:34:00.000-07:002010-04-23T20:03:04.276-07:00'Round HereIt's been busy.<br /><br />After a full few weeks, I had infusion #3 of the Bendamustine last Thursday and Friday.<br /><br />So far, I feel ok. I've had the same dizziness as last time and I'm quite tired but am trying to push through it. Tomorrow, I'm heading across the border to La Conner for a few days for a little more r&r.<br /><br />In the meantime, there has been much visiting and creative fun going on, including the delivery of hundreds of hand-made cards for <a href="http://cards4cancer.org/">Cards 4 Cancer</a> day. The response was utterly overwhelming and not only were we able to deliver cards to Lions Gate Oncology, but to the Cancer Agency as well. In fact, the response was so positive, we will continue to deliver them over the coming weeks.<br /><br />A huge thank you to everyone who took the time to contribute, including Edith and friends, mom, KLASS staff and Kirsten D, with special mention to Valerie and colleagues at the UBC School of Nursing - they really knocked it out of the park! Here is just a small selection of the cards we received...<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEw6Ap5P7Pxjw1Hk0nGqsrOdNoJcJWlzypsTpRyqXAlAYp804gqz1wqycxn1x71jU_19OE1h0YwEu8QxvyfJK3pDImI1Yblkgj4x1h5dKN3TSQ3L0V2elYAFN2Kw3xxA_8fobuYw/s1600/100_2856.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEw6Ap5P7Pxjw1Hk0nGqsrOdNoJcJWlzypsTpRyqXAlAYp804gqz1wqycxn1x71jU_19OE1h0YwEu8QxvyfJK3pDImI1Yblkgj4x1h5dKN3TSQ3L0V2elYAFN2Kw3xxA_8fobuYw/s320/100_2856.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5462073617263449826" /></a><br />It was extremely touching to see many patients' emotional response to the cards - to know that a complete stranger had taken time to create something just for them really seemed to strike a chord. Here is just one example of so many beautiful messages written in the cards:<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Though we have never met, I want you to know that you are being thought of today. I hope that if the sun is shining, you feel the warmth of a sun beam. If there are showers, the cool surprise of a rain drop.</span> <br /><br />How nice is that?<br /><br />We also had fun last week with the second meeting of the DCC, otherwise known as the Dorky Camera Club. We entitled this one <br />"For the Birds" for obvious reasons...<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhy_Y3zRUWF4F4sdYPs6oxy3wPqNs5W8Y9HoFALiO5ugZEVssNvu_N0J5yLch6UgXu0ispf3cetQs2iI1DKTiDExLnmODiNsnH10010ysKHf4L1yZ2nJmKjOL2w5mngHxf5H_BaAw/s1600/4509302358_62c4749197_m.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 98px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhy_Y3zRUWF4F4sdYPs6oxy3wPqNs5W8Y9HoFALiO5ugZEVssNvu_N0J5yLch6UgXu0ispf3cetQs2iI1DKTiDExLnmODiNsnH10010ysKHf4L1yZ2nJmKjOL2w5mngHxf5H_BaAw/s320/4509302358_62c4749197_m.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5462080379907276626" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGfiaXQ7_0DLsNm4FqickH2Hk290sOmJ28Py22jF-nCYter8AQvGG8qWmEmgUiIk4_Tz3wfbOBc_sM91COAI8h4lv9AqjnY0tc1emHw85POIlkCzaKxQ3tQ7OsLZNtweVjkDOjVQ/s1600/4511514914_0022426197_m.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 175px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGfiaXQ7_0DLsNm4FqickH2Hk290sOmJ28Py22jF-nCYter8AQvGG8qWmEmgUiIk4_Tz3wfbOBc_sM91COAI8h4lv9AqjnY0tc1emHw85POIlkCzaKxQ3tQ7OsLZNtweVjkDOjVQ/s320/4511514914_0022426197_m.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5462080392649471826" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipsSgWtBXZLseYNvHME6U2gMbTY4Tsu9UoTGjIrxYZ0O4dFmu1YapmuG8zUFz4Tz17F9NhQk0aAJo6KlMdqWoOI8yeM1MuM1WJIESYdxXXFnkAJSNGWc9-jMO96IrwEpQFm5-2Lg/s1600/4512455346_61f3af3779_m.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipsSgWtBXZLseYNvHME6U2gMbTY4Tsu9UoTGjIrxYZ0O4dFmu1YapmuG8zUFz4Tz17F9NhQk0aAJo6KlMdqWoOI8yeM1MuM1WJIESYdxXXFnkAJSNGWc9-jMO96IrwEpQFm5-2Lg/s320/4512455346_61f3af3779_m.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5462080386479918722" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIr1ihuEPDsQU6XzDAv9vIZCKy3YkB6pYFgbVejX2uItiKUMaLsjGUvPM6lUbJo8E0yhAlnr0GmK048YzqfkVO6F6wRRjjqOoPDWMX_Ex-dqDOU1VwrHoTOLLMySTdwq2dgLfqfA/s1600/4511520104_afcb6c1064_m.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 206px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIr1ihuEPDsQU6XzDAv9vIZCKy3YkB6pYFgbVejX2uItiKUMaLsjGUvPM6lUbJo8E0yhAlnr0GmK048YzqfkVO6F6wRRjjqOoPDWMX_Ex-dqDOU1VwrHoTOLLMySTdwq2dgLfqfA/s320/4511520104_afcb6c1064_m.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5462082584246096434" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4RI23mo96g6DWGlGhwapkni-OTf1h-PX1wAsLVX2Xso4zifIh8uor4uPb5lrQAgtxguDmbiAMhrNFUp0OyAlfSINthk6mCXoKRWLBp2n21kJpAVEJJgX6ehGJM8zPsWLpLNi1bg/s1600/4512657305_c22a2d6a82_m.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 201px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4RI23mo96g6DWGlGhwapkni-OTf1h-PX1wAsLVX2Xso4zifIh8uor4uPb5lrQAgtxguDmbiAMhrNFUp0OyAlfSINthk6mCXoKRWLBp2n21kJpAVEJJgX6ehGJM8zPsWLpLNi1bg/s320/4512657305_c22a2d6a82_m.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5462078404668282402" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglWEJowSwbzkMXGvPHk8RkqF48rd5ym_HFhfriKQc0OZOS5EXAN5H6DZHmzyVs-9D6iTDWy_UGM9g7tephbn12C7bsFFFfQzwmUbsISfh5tqmL9ZMkcsUxJ-LdpNZHoqc1GqKQQw/s1600/4512673689_ef411c80bb_m.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 161px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglWEJowSwbzkMXGvPHk8RkqF48rd5ym_HFhfriKQc0OZOS5EXAN5H6DZHmzyVs-9D6iTDWy_UGM9g7tephbn12C7bsFFFfQzwmUbsISfh5tqmL9ZMkcsUxJ-LdpNZHoqc1GqKQQw/s320/4512673689_ef411c80bb_m.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5462078389298715650" /></a><br />That last one was "artful" bird poop.<br /><br />(Bird photos top to bottom): Ry, Ian, Nic, Ian, me, me)Kirsten (not Kristen)http://www.blogger.com/profile/18189966461050575036noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32096611.post-46804492540261741702010-04-09T16:37:00.000-07:002010-04-09T16:42:57.348-07:00Meaningde·crease <span style="font-style:italic;">[v. dih-krees; n. dee-krees, dih-krees] <br />verb: to diminish or lessen in extent, quantity, strength or power</span><br /><br />This is what my latest CT scan shows - "decreasing size and conspicuity of lymph nodes within the right neck, left supraclavicular region, right superior hilum, retroperitoneum, and pelvis..." There is also "improvement" in my lungs and "stability" in my mediastinum.<br /><br />The word <span style="font-style:italic;">decrease</span> is used six times in the report.<br /><br />This is not a word I have read often in my files.<br /><br />While the scan still showed a slightly mixed response, our assumptions (and expectations) were correct - overall, the Bendamustine is having a positive effect.<br /><br />Of course, this is a relief. What is even more reassuring, however, is that my mind knows what my body is doing. I would have felt a huge sense of disconnection and bewilderment otherwise.<br /><br />Now the goal is to strrrreeetch the use of the Bendamustine for as long as we can. It does suppress my counts (which are still holding up remarkably well) and there is a maximum toxicity level which cannot be exceeded, so it is not something that can be used indefinitely. Six cycles is usually the maximum.<br /><br />Heading into cycle three next week, I am encouraged, and hoping that I can again avoid the side effects of the first round. So, on we go then, living with cancer as a "chronic" disease - a surreal existence for certain. <br /><br />What it is all for, or means, I have no idea.<br /><br />What I do know is that grace visited me three times today in the form of friendship and generosity, and that this is bigger and more important than cancer ever will be.Kirsten (not Kristen)http://www.blogger.com/profile/18189966461050575036noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32096611.post-71511543756918369552010-04-08T09:53:00.000-07:002010-04-08T10:38:50.208-07:00TodayIn a few hours I will have my latest CT results.<br /><br />(Oops, that sounded more melodramatic than I meant it to).<br /><br />Normally, I would have inquired about them by now. Funny how things change. I feel good physically and emotionally and would obviously like this to continue. I trust that my body is responding, and these results can just damn-well live up to that expectation.<br /><br />I'll let you know how it goes...<br /><br />In the meantime, a few shots from our long weekend away...<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9r96fddt06T2SAAemHWlxH8EUzuZ8Sp4oUj2lqyjUOsOqMJoeKJo5aHFrIIPncAjZsxNTAs1vrsFvxgzJIZRdcgXdRfQeGrbOf7oBtCWnr7lU8V7V6NdbJ8JFjFOGs_tTt15-Xw/s1600/DSC_0001.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9r96fddt06T2SAAemHWlxH8EUzuZ8Sp4oUj2lqyjUOsOqMJoeKJo5aHFrIIPncAjZsxNTAs1vrsFvxgzJIZRdcgXdRfQeGrbOf7oBtCWnr7lU8V7V6NdbJ8JFjFOGs_tTt15-Xw/s320/DSC_0001.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5457814033675823330" /></a><br />Self portrait on the beach at Point Roberts<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1CB4AMlNYZKGPVeKnw3R4mLi7wEVV5WX36B8vHSgLjwdGUY6L_URT7L206JDY4cvgPL_AN5BzsuE9np3VLfEV_tQLDWhqWI0dc3Ibii3jwiIaIRtOGxG6OCxqqCmtZSk_nuHrnQ/s1600/DSC_0011.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1CB4AMlNYZKGPVeKnw3R4mLi7wEVV5WX36B8vHSgLjwdGUY6L_URT7L206JDY4cvgPL_AN5BzsuE9np3VLfEV_tQLDWhqWI0dc3Ibii3jwiIaIRtOGxG6OCxqqCmtZSk_nuHrnQ/s320/DSC_0011.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5457812831141721634" /></a><br />For some reason, I never get tired of shooting logs and old rope<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJFT738HmabUtck7DknOMcEAvFwr0h4KK8TEbrmVnDaLFrqMSXjYgLmdWqRVi0HO0f-o4jnXZ-MJv2GFmqnL76I4u-7i8bepng9jswtIN9X1Dowt5xTPX621lEaEnuKIPLQsnw-w/s1600/DSC_0022.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJFT738HmabUtck7DknOMcEAvFwr0h4KK8TEbrmVnDaLFrqMSXjYgLmdWqRVi0HO0f-o4jnXZ-MJv2GFmqnL76I4u-7i8bepng9jswtIN9X1Dowt5xTPX621lEaEnuKIPLQsnw-w/s320/DSC_0022.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5457812815420883986" /></a><br />Ian trying to shoot a very unphotogenic Finnegan<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgObtX1jBcwDlhaN9wlondcX60bXhMZH_C_T6RlCf4VIrVFMhFfb0jXfrsbNgWSgB8eXh0rRb8xxjr6v5jWwEpuhUbjAinY1802Ssg2ZnBIEvl8U0iqS_3GusLMCwmXKdoQ_lNYOA/s1600/DSC_0024.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgObtX1jBcwDlhaN9wlondcX60bXhMZH_C_T6RlCf4VIrVFMhFfb0jXfrsbNgWSgB8eXh0rRb8xxjr6v5jWwEpuhUbjAinY1802Ssg2ZnBIEvl8U0iqS_3GusLMCwmXKdoQ_lNYOA/s320/DSC_0024.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5457812801063208578" /></a><br />Finn - wave behind you!<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj64qqHh2hgjjvJZXn1QWj1BlPutgktUXeXyIW4vp_7yHXuSHfAX9aMG0yhiCAX4_HCp_ObVnau2efYoH56aHLVkF2L-XzTyaaV17muN0CXkV-7I7iQMq8IC0djELv3WYd7Km6iIg/s1600/DSC_0031.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj64qqHh2hgjjvJZXn1QWj1BlPutgktUXeXyIW4vp_7yHXuSHfAX9aMG0yhiCAX4_HCp_ObVnau2efYoH56aHLVkF2L-XzTyaaV17muN0CXkV-7I7iQMq8IC0djELv3WYd7Km6iIg/s320/DSC_0031.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5457814607692616882" /></a><br />These waves don't seem as big in the picture as they did at the time. If you can see the little speck behind Finn, it is actually a dude surfing or, at least, trying, which is rare.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-j8RI_Anfp79IXWOjImvXsvkyeZzfCQeZryM51GVXXbWNYDgT5MArL1B_LqiWRnCmrM9zgrm8wQRKFSFY5fTLFYT4Xf92w83OvBCV8HdYSds5H7tqwLMoHftzeE5cPLw1zCL3Kg/s1600/DSC_0033.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-j8RI_Anfp79IXWOjImvXsvkyeZzfCQeZryM51GVXXbWNYDgT5MArL1B_LqiWRnCmrM9zgrm8wQRKFSFY5fTLFYT4Xf92w83OvBCV8HdYSds5H7tqwLMoHftzeE5cPLw1zCL3Kg/s320/DSC_0033.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5457812787862532098" /></a><br />Finn contemplated attacking this guy as he is not used to such beings emerging from the sea.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg72QNgN2lXD8X_cefgvyh19wd3IE_Jo3zIeOWDYwt82lYnUKpvYPK8E9p8gEcubp7hXYu4Q20_YN-GYbC2q1GngH6JUc4TSpzX2WsXlMV8TQxcSo90ZJkL_dCMZlBHQ7cerc083A/s1600/DSC_0015.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg72QNgN2lXD8X_cefgvyh19wd3IE_Jo3zIeOWDYwt82lYnUKpvYPK8E9p8gEcubp7hXYu4Q20_YN-GYbC2q1GngH6JUc4TSpzX2WsXlMV8TQxcSo90ZJkL_dCMZlBHQ7cerc083A/s320/DSC_0015.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5457818587894822658" /></a><br />Wish I was here now with a fuzzy blanket and a white chocolate raspberry mocha...<br /><br />I guess free tea at the Cancer Agency is a close second - <span style="font-style:italic;">not</span>.Kirsten (not Kristen)http://www.blogger.com/profile/18189966461050575036noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32096611.post-9413970178989143482010-03-29T21:10:00.000-07:002010-03-30T00:40:20.128-07:00Salad DaysI had my first CT scan since starting Bendamustine today, and it only required three pokes instead of the five I had last time to get the IV in.<br /><br />Yes, I am being mildly sarcastic.<br /><br />Anyway, as most of you know, I like to have my test results lickity-split, prior to my next appointment if possible, in order to avoid walking in unprepared. However, this time, I am not scheduled to see my oncologist until next Thursday, the 8th. I am quite sure he will let me know the results beforehand but, even so, I am not in a huge rush to get them.<br /><br />I guess it is because I have been experiencing an incredible resurgence of energy since mid-way through the first cycle. My cough is still gone and the node on the base of my neck, which is one of the only ones I can ever actually feel, is currently undetectable. Over the past few years it has ranged from pea to baby-carrot sized. Did I mention that I hate baby carrots?<br /><br />So, whatever the reason, I want to bask in what I believe to be true, that the Hodgkin's is taking a hike right now (I hear hell is a good place to visit). <br /><br />Now, since we've just been talking vegetables, I may as well post one of my favorite spring "love" poems.<br /><br />(Wow, that was certainly one of my more bizarre segues...)<br /><br />I included this in a card to some incredible friends at their beautiful nuptials this weekend, and also dedicate it to the memory of my writer pal, <a href="http://www.legacy.com/CAN-Vancouver/Obituaries.asp?Page=LifeStory&PersonId=141170050">Peter</a>, who so loved to play with words. I think he would like this one too. <br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Vegetable Love</span><br />by Barbara Crooker<br /><br />Feel a tomato, heft its weight in your palm,<br />think of buttocks, breasts, this plump pulp.<br />And carrots, mud clinging to the root,<br />gold mined from the earth's tight purse.<br />And asparagus, that push their heads up,<br />rise to meet the returning sun,<br />and zucchini, green torpedoes<br />lurking in the Sargasso depths<br />of their raspy stalks and scratchy leaves.<br />And peppers, thick walls of cool jade, a green hush.<br />Secret caves. Sanctuary.<br />And beets, the dark blood of the earth.<br />And all the lettuces: bibb, flame, oak leaf, butter-<br />crunch, black-seeded Simpson, chicory, cos.<br />Elizabethan ruffs, crisp verbiage.<br />And spinach, the dark green<br />of northern forests, savoyed, ruffled,<br />hidden folds and clefts.<br />And basil, sweet basil, nuzzled<br />by fumbling bees drunk on the sun.<br />And cucumbers, crisp, cool white ice<br />in the heart of August, month of fire.<br />And peas in their delicate slippers,<br />little green boats, a string of beads,<br />repeating, repeating.<br />And sunflowers, nodding at night,<br />then rising to shout hallelujah! at noon.<br /><br />All over the garden, the whisper of leaves<br />passing secrets and gossip, making assignations.<br />All of the vegetables bask in the sun,<br />languorous as lizards.<br />Quick, before the frost puts out<br />its green light, praise these vegetables,<br />earth's voluptuaries,<br />praise what comes from the dirt.Kirsten (not Kristen)http://www.blogger.com/profile/18189966461050575036noreply@blogger.com